thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
