He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
