Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
