She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
