btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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