found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize