this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
