seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Randomize
