the condom got lost in my hair
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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