so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
