First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Randomize
