If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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