4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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