When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
