This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
