we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
