their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
