did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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