is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Randomize
