5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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