Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Randomize