operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
that may or may not have been my penis.
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