I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
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