he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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