I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Randomize
