I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
