I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
