broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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