You're so nebulous sometimes
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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