we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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