Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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