There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
