let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
