Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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