She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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