meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
