Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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