The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
