Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Randomize
