I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Drunk is a universal language darling
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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