Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
