Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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