I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
