Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
