Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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