He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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