On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
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