Where did you get a picture of my penis
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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