literally had 100 drinks last night.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
