i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
