Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
