i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize