This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
