ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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