Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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