Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
